Change Is Life

The only thing that is permanent in the universe is change. It is no wonder why we die everytime we go through it in our lives. When our partner leaves us, when we lose our job, when our kids grow up and leave home, when our pets die, when our dear friends or a family member pass away, something inside us die too.

When things are doing well in our lives, we get blinded by the good things given to us. We fail to acknowledge that whatever it is that we have or are today, is impermanent. And when change occurs, it hits us like a train. We are crushed into pieces. We get lost, we forget who we are. Our dreams, our hopes, our visions, our identity; all stripped from us.

Why? While there are a number of reasons, I believe there is one significant factor we can attribute to this, and that is our inability to accept and adapt to change as part of life's evolution. Everything in the universe is meant to evolve. And for every evolution, there are countless opportunities that we can recreate from, e.g. For every star that dies, a new one is born.

Take my experience for example. When my ex-girlfriend broke up with me, it left a gaping hole inside of me. I was totally paralyzed. I did not know what to do. I did not know where to go, who to run to. It was so overwhelming that I feel like I could not survive another hour or day with that kind of overpowering pain.

For months, I went through this emotional cycles of accepting, denying, wanting, wishing, accepting, denying, wanting, wishing, and so on. It was the lowest, lowest point of my life. I became worn out, emotionally, physically, mentally, and even spiritually. I did a lot of things imaginable to survive from it. I read books, articles, blogs, etc. I watched motivational, self help videos and listened to it in my car. I took long weekends to "rejuvenate" my mind. I tried to get busy in hope that my problem will eventually dissolve. But every time I would rise up, I would fall back to the same place. It seemed like I could never pull myself out of such situation.

And then one day it just hit me. I realized I will never get out this situation unless I submit to and fully accept the change that occurred in my life, learn from that experience, and look for opportunities that comes with it. And as soon as I did this, as soon as I accepted that things are now different, not worse, just different, then it was easier for me to come out of that emotional or mental prison. There was no struggle to come out of it. Things just fell into place and it was almost automatic that I was able to liberate myself from that experience. I learned from it, and acknowledged the opportunities that came along with it. I began to see many possibilities that I could create from that point on.

And when you get to that side, you will never be the same. Never. As Oliver Wendell Holmes said it best:

"Once the mind is stretched, it will never go back to its original dimension."

Now, do I say feeling pain, sorrow, grief, and all those emotions you feel when you're confronted with unexpected changes is wrong or should be refrained from? No. Not at all. By all means, allow yourself to experience it. I am not a health expert but I believe we cry because it is our body's or heart's natural reaction to emotional pain. And from my experience, during those times that I cried, I felt a sense of calmness, subsequently. I believe it's because tears cleanse your soul.

It is clinging to the past, holding on to anger, wallowing in guilt, and getting stuck in denial that should be refrained from. Because those things are what holds you and blinds you from seeing the lessons and opportunities that come along with the unwanted change. Those things prolong the pain and the process of recovery.

Until you let go or refrain from those pitfalls, you will never get ahead. You will only grow bitter because everytime life hands you unexpected changes, and that is imminent, you will approach it with the same wrong mindset.

Accept change, even unexpected ones. Learn from its lessons, there's a lot of them, trust me on that. And then look for the opportunities that comes along with it, again there's a lot of them.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." -Charles Darwin-

Good Luck and Move with Change.