In The Eye Of The Storm

Great lessons are learned in the face of conflicts.

There was a time in my life when I wished I live in solitude. In a remote, peaceful place where there is less conflict and challenge. Yes, like many others, I dreamt of the paradise. Such place was my ideal for experiencing inner peace. Hassled by the tainted beliefs and troubles in life, I have always wanted to move to a solemn, blissful place where I could detach from the world; away from the ever-threatening hostile environment.

Today, I still dream of this place. But I’ve come to this stage in my life where I can now say with all honesty that it doesn’t matter anymore whether I get there or not. My inner peace, as I began to see, is independent of the nature of my environment that I live in. For even in the midst of conflicts, I am able to practice and experience inner peace.

Every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn and grow from. Every time you encounter conflicts with someone, that person has a lot to teach you, even though it is not in their intention to do so. It could be how to be more patient, more understanding, more tolerant, or more forgiving. There are countless lessons you can learn from people you seem to have conflicts with.

In Buddhism, they teach about compassion for everyone, but more importantly, they focus on developing compassion for your “enemies”. They believe that everyone you consider your enemy has a lesson to teach about yourself.

I’ve studied some Buddhist teachings in the past but this is one I have never fully grasped. Jesus Christ himself taught the same principle of loving your enemies. Yet after much thought, I never truly understood the concept of forgiving your enemies, let alone loving them or accepting them.

It was not until recently when I finally understood the beauty of this principle of embracing the people who push your button. Who give you challenges. Who seem to make the world miserable for you. There are people I experience conflict with but instead of ever resenting them, ever wishing they did not exist in my life, ever hating them. I have started to see their purpose. The reason(s) why they are in my life. I believe they are here to teach me the many hard-learned principles. Principles such as patience, understanding, forgiveness, love and so forth. I see them now as involuntary teachers giving a series of tests to show me where I stand in my values and principles. Truly, they are my standards by which I can measure how I do in life. And for this, I am able to accept their existence. I know that I may not be able to agree with their behaviors but I am able to put their words or actions in the right perspective.

Without them I will never be able to see if what I learned is aligned with my actions and how I process everything in my life. Without them, I will not be able to exercise my values and principles, just like I can’t strengthen my body if I don’t put strain on it through exercise.

It reminds me of the quote from the Greek philosopher, Socrates, who once said: “You never know a line is crooked until you have a straight one next to it.”

I don't encourage anyone to surround themselves with people they have conflict with. I simply say, put them in the right perspective. Especially the ones you are stuck with. Instead of resisting the fact that there will always be people whose actions you disapprove of, surrender to it. Know that sometimes there's nothing you can do about it but find out what you can learn from that person just by him/her being in your life. Why is he/she in your life? Remember, everything happens for a reason. Even if you don't see its purpose.